People wonder why I am in such a dark place these days. This week,my lifelong friends will gather for our annual golf trip. For a quarter century plus, I was a Mainstay central figure on these excursions. This weekend at St. Simons, won’t be there. My vision issue has made my participation in golf pointless. On top of that, it is also a burden to anyone stuck with playing with me. They have to find my shots and choreograph my next one. There is no way that assignment does not effect their play and enjoyment of the game. Golf is something that I have to let go of. Of course, the other edge of that lethal sword is detachment from the primary social activity of my peer group. Some would say, go anyway for the camaraderie. This particular edition, that was not an option. The one weekend of the year when my attendance was impossible was chosen. The Kentucky a Derby is the most significant event in my industry. The fact this weekend was chosen was not intentionally done to exclude me. However, like my professional and personal lives, the circumstances of my situation have eroded my validity as a human being. I am no longer afforded full consideration. I am afflicted and compromised thus creating rational grounds to be discarded. I see nothing on the horizon that is going to change my ever increasing desolate, heartbreaking dismissal from an enjoyable life. The same limitations that now cast me as downgraded, prevent adjustment through personal initiative. I am reliant on others now and there is no one there. Like golf, people have their own lives. It is a microcosmic example. I am no longer welcome and personally not comfortable taking up space in the cart. My name is no longer penciled in on life’s tee time sheet.
This Saturday May 3
California Chrome- So Cal super colt
Samraat- NY star,
Ride On Curlin- Just keeps on plugging
Wicked Strong- Eats up the extra distance
Medal Count- Sneaking up late
In With A Shot
Wildcat Red, General A Rod, Tapiture, Intense Holiday
Uncle Sigh, Dance With Fate, Candy Boy, Danza, Hoppertunity
Vicar’s In Trouble, Commanding Curve, Chitu, We Miss Artie, Harry’s Holiday, Vinceremos
Check out Birmingham Race Course Facebook Page Thursday evening for a link to the Derby Preview. Also available on I Tunes Podcasts and kipkeefer.net. Incredible, Huge $$$$$ opportunities. The Run For The Roses… Your fate is delivered, your moment’s at hand.
Fortunate to be hanging out with my boy Clayt and nephew Nic in Buckhead tonight. Attended Hawks playoff game this afternoon. Dined tonight at The Vortex. Braves tomorrow afternoon. Nice to be doing something different.
Well, at least I have one constant, continual, perpetual companion. Disappointment is right here with me every minute of every day…24/7/365
Bona Fide, Certified, Sanctified, Quantified,
LOSER !!! Sad but true. Had all the tools, enormous potential, could have done anything.
Apologies in advance for those this will upset. This is my Blog, I am expressing my true situation and emotions, absent pride or prejudice. I don’t force anyone to stop by. Unlike Faceboik, this doesn’t just pop up on your screen. I am in Memphis for a couple of days. Being away from my environment and visiting a place I know well but no longer frequent, makes crystal clear through my blurred, hazed vision, how much I have lost. It also is a vociferous reminder of what a train wreck my existence is now. I cannot enjoy nostalgic places, recognize old friends or partake in activities that I enjoy.
Cutting To The Chase…. Unfortunately,
MY LIFE NOW OFFICIALLY SUCKS !!
Time casts a spell on you but you won’t forget me
I know I could have loved you but you would not let me
I’ll follow you down ’til the sound of my voice will haunt you
You’ll never get away from the sound of the one who loves you
You’re the color of the sky reflecting in each storefront window pane
You’re the whispering and the sighing of my tires in the rain
You’re the hidden cost and the thing that’s lost in everything I do
Yea and I’ll never stop looking for you
Through the sunlight and the shadows and the faces on the avenues
And this is why my eyes are closed, it’s just as well from what I see
And so it goes and so it goes,and so will you soon I suppose
So I would choose to be with you
That’s if the choice were mine to make
But you can make decisions too
So you can have this heart to break
And so it goes and so it goes
And you’re the only one…who knows
And once, I believed that you and I
Were the ones who could defy the fickle Gods
And win out against the odds
And go on forever more
That fall turned to winter, and winter into spring
And all the while you lead me through, a sweet awakening,
But summer never came that year, it’s what you left to find
And you took my future with you, and you left your past behind
It was old College Avenue and in the time of having you
I remember it, as if it were today
The tiny room and the single bed,
Though the tangled trails of time have led us far astray
The membrance seems to stay
And of all the roads that led me on,
And for all the years that you’ve been gone
I have found that it would never go away
It was old College Avenue and in the time of having you
I remember it …as if it were today
I remember you, as if, it was….. Today
If I could read your mind love
What a tale your thoughts could tell
Just like a paperback novel, the kind the drug store sells
When you reach the part where the heart ache comes
The hero would be me
But heroes often fail
And you won’t read that book again
Because the ending’s just too hard to take
Love, I don’t like to see so much pain,
Days pass, and these moments keep slipping away
I get so tired, working so hard for our survival
I look to the time with you
To keep me awake and alive
The hours and days still come and go
Time moves on, in ebbs and flows
But it is much colder and darker at night
And days are bleaker,not nearly as bright
My companion now is empty despair
When I reach out, You are not there
Maybe there is a God above
But all I have ever learned from love
Is to shoot somebody who outdrew you
It’s not a cry that you hear at night
It s not someone who has seen the light
It’s a cold and Its a broken … Hallelujah
For all of you who have been so supportive and expressed your caring emotions my way, may I humbly ask you to listen to my podcast. If you believe it is a worthwhile effort, your recommendation to others would be the greatest shot in the arm imaginable. My only chance for reestablishment in broadcast circles is Building an audience.
I plan to work fervently to make this a more polished, better program. This edition is basically my rambling a on various topics for 59 minutes. That is a skill that is extremely rare. I need your input and your help. May God Bless You All!!
I am so amazed that many of you have accessed my website and blog. Further, some of you have sent comments. It’s so nice to have some sense of connectivity. Thank you all especially always kind Nancy, Brianne, who sadly I don’t know and one of my great loves Terre.
I have an email address associated with my site if anyone wants to communicate. Kip@kipkeefer.net
Thank you all for caring. You make me feel like fighting back.
This weekend, the first edition of my new Podcast program, Kip Keefer.. Uncommon Sense, will be posted here.
The plan is to produce a regular broadcast. I have been unable to return to the air via radio. I am trying to build my own network. Uncommon Sense will be examination and analysis of topics in the news, culture and sports world.
I wish I could gather some of the more enlightened and talented friends I have to join me in a round table format. That would be the formula for a tremendous show. Hopefully, we will get there sometime.
My son Clayt will produce the show. I love working with him and his brilliant, creative mind. He and I teamed up recently and produced Case and Traci’s video for their wedding party. I thought it turned out great.
Anyway, I hope you will listen and send your comments. Thank you all for your support. I’m trying to fight through a dark period. I am leery of additional disappointment but have not lost confidence in my talents. I have nothing to lose.